


Forever And Almost Always

by LadyKayl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Leaving, Reader-Insert, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-20 11:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKayl/pseuds/LadyKayl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine - leaving Dean when you catch him cheating on you</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Forever And Almost Always**

** One shot that popped into my head **

** Hope you like x **

* * *

 You sit on the bottom of the single bed in Sam's room. You'd ran straight there after walking in on Dean and some blonde going at it in the room you both shared, in the bed you both shared. 

You look up to the mirror in front of you, tear streaks staining your face. You knew that being with Dean Winchester wasn't going to be a fairy tale ending, you were hunters. Fairy tale’s are for children. 

Dean had always seen your relationship as casual,  where you had fallen head over heels in love with him and now it was biting you in the ass. 

You understood what you were getting for Dean, he'd be with you when he felt like it, when he could be with you, and when he wanted to be with you.  He made no promises to you, no promise that you'd be the only one for him. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

You let your mind fade back to a night a month or so ago, you'd all gone to a bar after a long hunt. You'd walked in with his arm thrown over your shoulder. Sam sent you both looks, he was unhappy with your....arrangement,  he constantly told you that you deserved better.

Dean went to get some drink and you talked to Sam, laughing at some stupid joke he told. Your smile falls from your face when you see Dean with his arms around a brunette at the bar. Sam followed your gaze,  his jaw clenching. 

"You know you deserve better than this Y/n" you just shake your head and tell him you were fine. What else could you do? You loved him, you just smiled and hoped that when you woke up every morning that he still cared for you, even if it was only a little.

You'd lost count of the amount of times you'd told him you couldn't do it anymore, that you did in fact deserve better. 

"I know you do, just give me another chance Y/n, I'll do better" he flashed you that kicked puppy look and he was forgiven, every damn time.

For a little while he'd behave himself, be more attentive, show more affection, and then he'd pull away slowly again. Back to old habits. You'd find him playing grab ass at some dive bar. He'd always prove you wrong, just when you were believing that maybe, just maybe he'd changed for good this time. 

But he never did, tonight proved that. You'd gone out with Sam, Dean claiming to be tired. You slipped your room key into the door and saw the pair tangled between the sheets. You slammed the door behind you and ran to Sam's room. He pulled you into a hug and then stormed from the room. No doubt to give his brother a piece of his mind.

So here you were, crying from another broken heart. 

"What am I still doing here?" You mumble to yourself, standing from the bed making your way to the mirror. You wiped the fresh tears from your face, just as Sam re enters the room. 

"She's gone, he's...thinking about what he's done." You smiled at the younger Winchester 

"It doesn't matter Sammy, I'm done. It's over. I mean really over. You're right, I don't deserve this...I need to leave Sam" he shakes his head not wanting you to leave.

"I need to, if I stay he'll find a way to snake his way back into my heart. He always does Sam, I need to go until I'm stronger. I'll miss you Sammy" you reach to hug him

"I'll miss you too, where will you go?" You reply to Bobby's, the man had always been like a father to you anyway. 

"Will you come with me? To get my stuff?" 

You both walk into yours and Dean's motel room. He jumps from the bed, wearing only his jeans.

"Y/n I can explain...." you ignore him and walk past, Sam following you. 

"Not interested Dean, I'm going. For good this time. I deserve better than this" You stuff your clothes into your bag as you speak

"I can do better" he whispers,  you snort at his words

"No Dean you can't,  this was only ever casual to you. If that's what you want out of life then you go for it. But I want so much more" you zip the bag and Sam takes it from your hands and leaving the room.

"You're really leaving this time aren't you?" You nod.

"I'm not going to wait for you anymore Dean. Waking up everyday hoping you feel something for me. Wondering if you'll be mine today or someone else's” You swallow the lump in your throat and continue

"I love you Dean. Part of me always will, but I deserve better than an almost always" you kiss his cheek goodbye and walked from the room and out of his life. 

You never saw the tear that fell from his eye as you closed the door.

 


	2. You Can't Break A Broken Heart

**Forever And Almost Always - Part 2**

** By popular demand,  here's the second part!  **

** There will be a third part I think.... **

** Let me know what you think? **

* * *

You’d been with Bobby for over 6 months now. Since you left Dean in that motel, after catching him in bed with some woman. Things had been good, well no they hadn’t but you’d learnt to mask things better. 

You’d developed this ice queen exterior, with the simple mind set of – If you don’t let anyone in, you can’t get hurt. Your heart hadn’t healed from that night, not like you hoped it would. Dean Winchester just wasn’t that easy to get over. 

You’d seen the brothers a few times in the last 6 months, but they hadn’t seen you. You were sitting in a bar after Bobby sent you on a job, nothing difficult just a simple salt and burn. You were sipping on your whiskey, the smooth amber liquid slipping its way down your throat. That’s when you heard his voice behind you. 

“Well Sammy, what are you drinking?” you saw Dean slap his brother on the back in the reflection in the mirror over the bar. 

Luckily you weren’t recognised. You grabbed your drink and moved away from the bar to the dark corner under a broken light. You watched him flirt with every woman around, it should hurt, you know it should but you cant feel a damn thing. How can you break what’s already broken? 

You shake your head ridding yourself of the memory, you knew Dean had found himself a new girl. Guess she was the new you, Sam had kept you in the loop. He didn’t like her, found her irritating and apparently her voice was enough to make him want to burst his eardrums. 

So when the brothers strolled into Bobby's a week or so later it came as no shock when you saw Dean's arm wrapped around a blonde's waist. 

You hugged Sam, greeted Dean neutrally with a simple hello, and even went as far as to introduce yourself to the woman.

Apparently her name was Cindy, no wonder Sam hated her. He hadn't been exaggerating about her voice, it was like talking to an over grown mouse. 

Dean looked at you shocked, what had he expected? For you to break down in tears in front of him? Hell you weren't sure you even had any tears left at this point. You were immune to him now,  or at least that's what you wanted him to believe. 

Sam was equally as shocked but for another reason, you seemed dead inside. To be fair he wasn't far off. This barrier you'd built around yourself, it was stopping any emotional response. You couldn't remember the last time you laughed, smiled or even cried. 

"Bobby I'm going on a supply run, anything you want?" You ask turning to face the man, who was writing a few things down. 

You grabbed your coat, you see Dean shift towards you holding out his keys. You raised am eyebrow

"Take baby, she's quicker" you hear Cindy whine behind him.

"You never let me drive!" You see Sam roll his eyes. 

You think about taking the car, then your mind falls to the very good possibility that he screwed her in the back seat. 

"No thanks, I'll just take the mustang" you walk out of the door, throwing the driver's door open. You hear shouts and screams from inside.  

*God no wonder Sam wants to deafen himself....*

You drive down the street a little before pulling into a old abandoned gas station. You flicked off the engine, glance around making sure you were alone, and then it happened. The ice Queen act fell apart. 

You could almost feel the cracks form in the facade you'd developed.  You feel the tears build and you let out an almighty heartbreaking scream. You sobbed against the steering wheel.

This wasn't new pain. He hadn't hurt you more than he already had. This was months of repressed emotion bubbling over.

You felt your phone go off,  you glanced at the screen to see Dean's name pop up.  You click reject, not wanting to talk to him. Especially not now.  

You take some deep breaths,  letting your mask slip back into place. You wipe away the stray tears harshly, before stating your engine once again. 

You were about to pull away when you see a black impala block your exit. You sigh heavily stepping out of your mustang. 

You thanked the heaven's above that it was dark, your red eyes not noticeable. You see him slam his door and walk towards you.  

"What was that?" He demanded stopping less than a foot away from you

"What was what Dean?"

"That?!" He pointed in the direction of Bobby's

"Being nice to Cindy, refusing to take baby. What the hell? Once upon a time,  you would have practically killed the girl and you always wanted to drive the impala!" He looked...sad? 

"What did you expected to happen here Dean? For me to beat the girl into a bloody pulp? Drive off into the sunset in a car you probably fucked her in?" You snort

"Y/n...I'm sorry..." you shake your head, refusing his apology

"What are you here for Dean? To flaunt your new girl?  Let me know you've moved on?" You clap your hand sarcastically

"Well good for you, sorry to disappoint you but that's all the response you're getting from me. I can't break anymore Dean. You can't hurt me anymore" you breath heavily, watching his face contort painfully. He was breaking. 

"I never meant to hurt you, it was a mistake...." 

"No Dean, forgetting to pack a extra clip for your gun, that's a mistake. Picking up the wrong milk at the store,  that's a mistake. Slipping your dick into someone else is NOT a mistake!" 

You turn from him, before you fall apart. You open your car door

"But I love you...." you freeze in place. Had he really just said that? 

"What did you just say to me?" You turn glaring 

"You love me? You have the nerve to say that after showing up here with 'Barbie' in tow?" You scream advancing on him. 

"I just wanted to show you that I can move on to,  but in all honesty Y/n I can't.  You left and it destroyed me. I realised how much I cared for you, how much I really loved you" You stand there slack jawed

"You didn't thing to tell me this 6 months ago?" You whisper, unable to find your full voice

"Would you have listened? Not that I blame you. I don't deserve you, I know that. But that doesn't stop me from loving you" you pace in front of him, trying to take in all the new information. 

"What about....Cindy?" You force out her name like you wanted to vomit

"A pawn, in a really stupid game...I haven't even slept with her. Couldn't." You narrowed your eyes at him. You wanted to believe him, but you couldn't and he knew it. 

"I'm not asking for anything from you. I just want you to know how I feel. I want you to come back with us, and I'll try every day to prove to you that you're the only one I want" you sigh deeply, watching him. 

You shouldn't believe him, you shouldn't care. But you just do. 

“I need to think Dean” he nods understanding 

“if you mean what you say, I expect Barbie gone by the time I get back. I can’t make any promises Dean.” You say entering your car

“Be safe, I love you Y/n” he closes the car door for you and steps back. Watching you pull away into the distance, his heart going with you. Whether you wanted it or not.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Forever And Almost Always - Part 3**

** Enjoy **

* * *

 

 You drive back to Bobby’s on auto pilot after getting the supplies. You’d spent the last few hours with your mind constantly wondering to Dean. His words flying through your head, your heart reliving all your happy memories together. 

You wanted to believe him when he said he loved you, hell it's what you've always dreamed he'd say. But after everything, could you really trust him? How did you know that you wouldn’t walk in on him in bed with someone else again? 

One thing you knew for sure, after everything, the pain, the heartache and the lies...you still loved him.

No matter what he did, whenever you were with him you were happy. These days you had trouble remembering what happy was. 

You hear a noise from the car; you ignore it putting the sound down to some of the supplies rolling around in the boot. Then the car starts to splutter and jerk. 

You groan as the car begins to loses power. You pull the vehicle over as far as it would go on the side of the road. Luckily this back road was rarely used so the likelihood of an accident was slim.

You pop the bonnet, pulling out your flashlight, shining it on to the engine. All you see smoke pouring out. Coughing you try to see the problem. But it's too dark, you decide to just call Bobby, maybe he can come tow it.

"Bobby, the mustang's smoking. Total loss of power. I'm stuck" you explain, flopping down on the back of the car.

"Alright, well I'll get it in the morning, she ain't going anywhere. Where are ya?  We'll come and get ya" he grunts down the phone. 

You explain you're on the back road about 5 miles out. He promises not to be long.  You sigh heavily, leaning back against the rear window; thoughts of Dean running through your head once again as you waited for Bobby.

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, you check the screen to see Sam’s photo. 

“Hey Sammy, You coming to get me?”

“No Dean is, he’s on his way now” You bolt upright, you ask him why. 

“Well, after he came back from chasing you. He grabbed Cindy and literally dragged her to the car” you could hear the smile in his voice. 

 

“Oh Y/n, it’s so quiet here…it’s wonderful! I don’t know what you said to Dean and I don’t really care but thank you” you laugh at your friend’s dramatic response

“Anyway, when he heard Bobby on the phone to you, he was at the door before Bobby could even get his keys.” You bit your lip, holding back a small grin.

“Hey Sammy, Can I ask you something?” you question nervously

“Yes Y/n he does love you, he was a nightmare after you left. To be honest until Cindy popped up he hadn’t been near anyone. I can’t give him excuses for what he did Y/n/n and &I wouldn’t want to, but I can vouch for him now; I truly believe he does love you. I honestly have no doubt about that.” 

“Thanks Sam” you whisper down the phone, wiping away a stray tear as you hear the engine of the impala grow closer “he’s here Sam, see you soon” he bids you farewell and you both hang up. 

You see the headlights before you see the car. Dean speeds around the corner, spotting your car and pulling in behind it. You hop down from your seat and open the boot ready to unload the supplies, hearing him slam his door shut.

“Before careful with these, there’s a stupid amount of bottle in here…” he spins you around and wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest.

“Are you alright?” he demands, pushing you back to check you over for injuries. 

“I’m fine, it was just the engine” he sighed in relief, hugging you once more. He must have thought you’d crashed or something

You let your façade slip, sinking into his embrace. Letting his body warm yours. 

His hand slips into your hair as he placed a kiss on your head before letting you go. 

“Come on, let’s get you home” he bends to pick up some bags from your boot. 

You know right there and then you made you decision. How cold you felt when he pulled away, the way your body screamed for his. The memory of his lips on yours, his hands on your skin. You were lost. 

You were his, and you hoped he was yours. 

“You mean to Bobby’s” He looks back at you frowning. 

“You said ‘let’s get you home’, Bobby’s isn’t home” you add walking towards him, bags forgotten he turns to face you. You stop inches from him, you feel the heat radiating off him in waves. 

“You’re home” you whisper so quietly you weren’t sure if he heard it, your hand holding lightly to the front of his jacket.  You glace up hesitantly, the look in his stunning green eyes tells you he did. 

He stares down at you, a mixture of happiness and shock on his face. You close the remaining distance, wrapping your arms around his waist resting your head in his chest. His heartbeat humming the perfect lullaby. You feel his arms cocoon around you, holding you tightly in place. 

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you, but I’m willing for us to try again.” You look up at him, eyes glazed

“Just don’t hurt me again Dean, because I’m all out of second chances” you feel a tear slip down your cheek. 

“I won’t. I swear. I love you Y/n.” he kisses your forehead sweetly “This is more than I could ever have hoped for sweetheart” 

“I love you too Dean” 

 

 


End file.
